Modern Egypt modern life in Egypt American in Egypt modern Egyptian culture Egypt book women's travel book

I Am Happier to Know You

A Conversation With Jeanne M. Eck

You were 54 years old and single, why did you move to Egypt?
In October 2000 I visited Egypt as a tourist. Although I had no idea how an American in Egypt would be received, after my trip I knew I needed to return. I didn't know why, only that I had to.

My children were grown and paid for. For the first time in my life, I was responsible only for myself. I had already planned to sell my home in Washington, D.C. and move to Rhode Island, so I decided to put my property on the market and to take a detour to live in modern Egypt for six months until my house sold and settled. As so often happens, life had other plans. I stayed in Egypt for five years!

Your book cover shows a woman on horseback, the Pyramids and a mosque in the background. Is it meant to portray what modern Egypt looks like today?
I worked closely with designer Peri Poloni to create a cover that incorporated the magnificence of Egypt of yesteryear and the sweeping changes in Egypt today.

Peri incorporated ripples of wind-blown sand to represent the constant changes within Egypt. The horseback rider (me, by the way-- I used this picture simply because my first readers loved the stories about my riding in the desert adjacent to the Pyramids) is looking through a window/archway reminiscent of the craftsmanship still found in Egypt today that has stood the test of time between ancient and modern Egypt.

The shadow of the archway reflected on the sand continues the theme of ancient and modern Egypt intertwined.

What was your first greatest challenge?
There were many challenges. Modern Egypt is a charming, but often frustrating mixture of old and new. To a Westerner, modern life in Egypt and the modern Egyptian culture is a far cry from what we are used to. I also had no idea that my journey would be complicated by what I now know was culture shock.

Because I didn't speak any Arabic, the logistics of just finding shops to buy food and a place where I could exchange money were a nightmare, but the most difficult challenge of all was that I had no comprehension of how a single Western woman is perceived in this culture or of the rules I would be expected to "obey." My naivety was a curse and also a blessing.

Why?
My naivety was a curse because by not knowing the rules, I made a lot of mistakes. While modern Egypt and the modern Egyptian culture no longer require Westerners to adhere to every Egyptian custom, they're not always clearly defined, and as an American in Egypt, given the sexually explicit television shows that are imported here by the West, I quickly discovered that my virtue was immediately suspect. It was a blessing because I led from my heart and was open to each new experience.

How do you dress? Do you keep your head covered?
I dress more modestly than I would at home. I wear pants with short-sleeved tops, blouses, or long dresses, but I do not cover my head. In modern Egypt, even though I'm an American living in Egypt, it's not required.

Why did you write I Am Happier to Know You? Is it primarily an "Egypt book or one of many Women's travel books?"
I Am Happier to Know You covers my first year in Egypt. It's not an "Egypt book" or one of many "women's travel books" per se. Rather it's the story of a woman's journey into another culture and what she learned about that culture and herself. I Am Happier to Know You evolved from the letters I wrote to family and friends, many of whom were concerned about my safety because tensions had escalated in the region. As time passed, my writing grew into something much bigger. I don't remember when, only that I began to feel compelled to share not just the events and challenges I experienced, but how modern life in Egypt began to change me from within. It's the story of how embracing our similarities and coming to know each other as human beings is a cause for rejoicing and healing on a personal as well as a global level.

Is I Am Happier to Know You a simplistic look at Egypt today?
Lin Yutang said, “Simplicity is the outward sign and symbol of depth of thought.”
We all come from our own experiences and assumptions; we receive what we seek to see in the observations of others. I Am Happier to Know You is the story of my experiences and those of the Egyptians and expatriates who shared theirs with me, and so much more. It’s also the story of my evolution as a woman from another culture who arrived with the perceptions she was raised with and how the people of Egypt opened my eyes and heart to them and to their culture.

How were you changed from "within"?
I began to see how narrow my Western focus was, how many assumptions and prejudices I had packed into my overflowing suitcases and to understand that we are all the same no matter what our culture, religion, race, or nationality.

Given the political situation in the Middle East and the terrorist threat, do you feel safe living in Egypt?
I have never felt unsafe and, from a larger perspective, I've come to believe that given the climate of fear and violence that permeates our world, there is no place that is safer than another. As an American in Egypt one would think that would make a difference, but it doesn't because violence is not a norm in this culture.

Do Egyptians dislike Americans?
Some do. Some don't. Egyptians are like anyone else. They make judgments and assumptions based upon the information that is provided by the media here and there as well as from their own personal experiences. But in general, I would have to say that Egyptians who have known Americans find us to be a kind, generous people. I've traveled a great deal and have had the opportunity to meet people from around the world. In my experience, there seems to be a greater prejudice against Americans on the part of Europeans than amongst Egyptians.

How do the Egyptian people view the American government?
In general, with suspicion and fear.

What is the greatest health threat to you?
Pollution and dust are terrible, but traffic accidents are the leading cause of death to Westerners. Just crossing a street by foot is a kamikaze experience.

Do you feel looked down upon as a woman?
I am more valued as a woman sexually here than I am in the West, but intellectually and from the perspective of personal power, I feel undervalued. Because of my age, in America I'm invisible. Here I'm not.

Do you miss the United States?
With the exception of being apart from dear friends and family, in general, I don't miss the United States. I do miss certain foods, the ease of getting around, of being able to buy what I need when I want it and most of all the beautiful blue skies. I've come to appreciate these things while I'm visiting the U.S., but now see them as a special treat rather than something I can't live without.
Conversely, when I'm traveling outside Egypt, I miss being surrounded by people of many colors and the joy of seeing unexpected sights unheard of in the West, like a pickup truck filled with camels or a man in a gallabaya riding a bicycle with a small child balanced on the handlebars.

What is the greatest misconception we in the West have about Egypt and the Middle East?
I think that we suffer from the illusion that we're intellectually superior and have all the "correct" answers. Perhaps because we are geographically isolated from most of the world, we've gone within and have not reached out to understand and value cultures that are different from ours.

Is it expensive to live in Egypt?
Imported products cost about the same or more than they do in the West. With the exception of housing and cars, everything else is far less expensive.

Is everyone poor?
While there are very wealthy Egyptians and a large middle class, by Western standards, the majority of Egypt's population lives at our poverty level or far below.

Is everyone Muslim?
The majority of Egyptians are Muslim. About 10% are Coptic Christians.

What are the people like?
In general, Egyptians share a delightful Gaelic-like wit and an understanding of human behavior that far exceeds ours. They're incredibly clever, resourceful and expressive of their feelings without the need for shame.

Are there modern conveniences there?
Yes, on the outside, but very little works properly behind the scenes.

When you travel from the West back to Egypt, what do you bring with you?
Since I've been here, more and more Western products have become available. I spend a lot of time in bookstores and at Costco where I load up on dried cranberries, pecans, Karo syrup, unusual spices, and vanilla. Since the selection and quality is better in the U.S., I also buy most of my clothing and shoes there and of course I buy videos and books. That said, more and more Western products are available.

Are you allowed to read what you want to?
Yes, but everything I want to read isn't available.

Do you speak Arabic?
Yes, but not as well as I would like to. I've learned enough to get by, but I need to work harder at it. When I don't know a word or phrase, I've become quite adept at pantomiming.

Do people speak English?
An amazing number of Egyptians speak English on some level and most know how to count in English.

What kinds of food do you eat? Are there any special precautions you take when preparing local food?
I eat a lot of cheese, vegetables, fruit, and bread. Imported cheese is readily available and the baladi (local) fruits and vegetables are lovely. I really enjoy shopping in the souk (street market) where I can rub shoulders with "average" Egyptians. I can buy Egyptian beef (which is usually water buffalo) and chicken breasts, which are tiny because they don't contain hormones. In Cairo, it's difficult to find fresh ocean fish.
Since human waste is sometimes used as fertilizer, I soak everything in a bath of water and vinegar. I wash eggs and oranges with soap and water. I cook with and drink only bottled water.

Are there restaurants?
There are many lovely hotel restaurants that offer gorgeous Western meals, but I prefer to eat in local establishments that serve fresh fish and a variety of Middle Eastern mesas (local salads made from eggplant, beans, tomatoes, potatoes, and yogurt). The food is a combination of Egyptian, Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cuisine that relies heavily upon rice, beans, eggs, bread, and fresh vegetables. Meat and chicken are expensive so not all Egyptians can afford to buy it very often.

How do Middle Easterners treat their children?
The family is the backbone of the Egyptian/Middle Eastern culture. In general, children are adored, valued and coddled by the whole family and community, even more than in the West.

Do all women cover their heads and bodies?
Many Muslim women wear a higab (a large scarf fastened at the neck) or garb themselves in a piece of fabric that also covers their breasts. Skirts and dresses are long. Pants are usually worn with a top that is not tucked in.

Are there many foreigners living in Egypt?
Yes, from just about every country in the world.

Do they like Egypt?
Yes and no. Generally, to adapt to Egypt and the Egyptian culture, an expatriate needs to have a sense of humor and the ability to find delight in our differences by educating themselves. If you try to project or transport your values and culture here, you won't be happy.

Has your perception of the United States changed after living in Egypt?
Definitely my perception of our government has changed. I used to believe that everything we did throughout the world was based upon the Abrahamic code, the root of Islam, Christianity and Judaism: "Do unto others as you would have them do onto you." Now I think it's more about oil.
Since living overseas and becoming an expat, my perspective and interest in international affairs/events and geography has broadened to embrace a more global view of the world than I ever had before.

What parts of our culture clash with Islam?
I think it's more of a perception than a clash from each side. Many Muslims do not understand that our society is as God-oriented as theirs and that Westerners are not as "loose" or as violent as our media portrays us. Conversely, many in the West perceive Middle Easterners as stupid, backward and violent. The opposite is true. We’re all human beings with a desire to live in peace, to be respected for our beliefs and our cultural values. I have only admiration and respect for the people of Egypt.

What questions do Egyptians ask you about America and the American people?
"Do you believe in God? Do you pray? Are you rich? How old are you? Are you married? Why don't the American people stop the United States government from invading other countries and trying to tell everyone else what to do? Do you like Bush? Why is America so arrogant?"

You were visiting the United States for the first time since moving to Egypt when 9/11 occurred. What was your reaction? When you returned home to Egypt, were you treated differently?
I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, then shame that expatriate Middle Easterners and Muslim Americans were subjected to such horrible reprisals and discrimination. I prayed that 9/11 would provide an opportunity to create a dialogue so that Americans could begin to understand why it happened and how those in the rest of the world view our policies - and for us as a people to begin to take responsibility for the actions of our government.
My Egyptian and expat friends greeted me with open arms. On a humorous note, when I returned home to Egypt I was on crutches. I had dislocated my knee while visiting my youngest son. When I exited a taxi to shop at the market I frequent, the young employees rushed out of the shop to embrace me. They were horrified that I was hurt. They thought I had been injured in the "war."

Do you have good medical care available?
I utilize the services of an Egyptian medical group that offers every specialty I need. Most of the physicians are Western trained. In general, because hospitals in Egypt are short on nurses and some are not as hygienic as I would like, I would choose to be evacuated to Europe or the U.S. for any surgical procedure.

What do you like most about living in Egypt?
The Egyptian people top the list. They're beautiful, funny, kind, generous, smart, wise, and extremely clever.
For those traveling to Egypt, the topography of Egypt offers mountains, deserts, oceans, and gorgeous beaches. It rarely rains and the temperature seldom falls below 50°F, even in the winter. I've definitely become allergic to cold weather and snow!

Jeanne M. Eck will continue to respond to her readers' questions, share her journal entries and the latest I Am Happier to Know You news. If you’d like to be on her mailing list, provide your comments or review of I Am Happier to Know You , or ask a question, CLICK HERE





I Am Happier to Know You A Conversation With Jeanne M. Eck You were 54 years old and single, why did you move to Egypt? In October 2000 I visited Egypt as a tourist. Although I had no idea how an American in Egypt would be received, after my trip I knew I needed to return. I didn't know why, only that I had to. My children were grown and paid for. For the first time in my life, I was responsible only for myself. I had already planned to sell my home in Washington, D.C. and move to Rhode Island, so I decided to put my property on the market and to take a detour to live in modern Egypt for six months until my house sold and settled. As so often happens, life had other plans. I stayed in Egypt for five years! *Your book cover* shows a woman on horseback, the Pyramids and a mosque in the background. Is it meant to portray what modern Egypt looks like today? I worked closely with designer Peri Poloni to create a cover that incorporated the magnificence of Egypt of yesteryear and the sweeping changes in Egypt today. Peri incorporated ripples of wind-blown sand to represent the constant changes within Egypt. The horseback rider (me, by the way-- I used this picture simply because my first readers loved the stories about my riding in the desert adjacent to the Pyramids) is looking through a window/archway reminiscent of the craftsmanship still found in Egypt today that has stood the test of time between ancient and modern Egypt. The shadow of the archway reflected on the sand continues the theme of ancient and modern Egypt intertwined. What was your first greatest challenge? There were many challenges. Modern Egypt is a charming, but often frustrating mixture of old and new. To a Westerner, modern life in Egypt and the modern Egyptian culture is a far cry from what we are used to. I also had no idea that my journey would be complicated by what I now know was culture shock. Because I didn't speak any Arabic, the logistics of just finding shops to buy food and a place where I could exchange money were a nightmare, but the most difficult challenge of all was that I had no comprehension of how a single Western woman is perceived in this culture or of the rules I would be expected to "obey." My naivety was a curse and also a blessing. Why? My naivety was a curse because by not knowing the rules, I made a lot of mistakes. While modern Egypt and the modern Egyptian culture no longer require Westerners to adhere to every Egyptian custom, they're not always clearly defined, and as an American in Egypt, given the sexually explicit television shows that are imported here by the West, I quickly discovered that my virtue was immediately suspect. It was a blessing because I led from my heart and was open to each new experience. How do you dress? Do you keep your head covered? I dress more modestly than I would at home. I wear pants with short-sleeved tops, blouses, or long dresses, but I do not cover my head. In modern Egypt, even though I'm an American living in Egypt, it's not required. *Why did you write I Am Happier to Know You? Is it primarily an "Egypt book or one of many Women's travel books?"* I Am Happier to Know You covers my first year in Egypt. It's not an "Egypt book" or one of many "women's travel books" per se. Rather it's the story of a woman's journey into another culture and what she learned about that culture and herself. I Am Happier to Know You evolved from the letters I wrote to family and friends, many of whom were concerned about my safety because tensions had escalated in the region. As time passed, my writing grew into something much bigger. I don't remember when, only that I began to feel compelled to share not just the events and challenges I experienced, but how modern life in Egypt began to change me from within. It's the story of how embracing our similarities and coming to know each other as human beings is a cause for rejoicing and healing on a personal as well as a global level. *Is I Am Happier to Know You* a simplistic look at Egypt today?** Lin Yutang said, “Simplicity is the outward sign and symbol of depth of thought.” We all come from our own experiences and assumptions; we receive what we seek to see in the observations of others. I Am Happier to Know You is the story of my experiences and those of the Egyptians and expatriates who shared theirs with me, and so much more. It’s also the story of my evolution as a woman from another culture who arrived with the perceptions she was raised with and how the people of Egypt opened my eyes and heart to them and to their culture. How were you changed from "within"? I began to see how narrow my Western focus was, how many assumptions and prejudices I had packed into my overflowing suitcases and to understand that we are all the same no matter what our culture, religion, race, or nationality. Given the political situation in the Middle East and the terrorist threat, do you feel safe living in Egypt? I have never felt unsafe and, from a larger perspective, I've come to believe that given the climate of fear and violence that permeates our world, there is no place that is safer than another. As an American in Egypt one would think that would make a difference, but it doesn't because violence is not a norm in this culture. Do Egyptians dislike Americans? Some do. Some don't. Egyptians are like anyone else. They make judgments and assumptions based upon the information that is provided by the media here and there as well as from their own personal experiences. But in general, I would have to say that Egyptians who have known Americans find us to be a kind, generous people. I've traveled a great deal and have had the opportunity to meet people from around the world. In my experience, there seems to be a greater prejudice against Americans on the part of Europeans than amongst Egyptians. How do the Egyptian people view the American government? In general, with suspicion and fear. What is the greatest health threat to you? Pollution and dust are terrible, but traffic accidents are the leading cause of death to Westerners. Just crossing a street by foot is a kamikaze experience. Do you feel looked down upon as a woman? I am more valued as a woman sexually here than I am in the West, but intellectually and from the perspective of personal power, I feel undervalued. Because of my age, in America I'm invisible. Here I'm not. Do you miss the United States? With the exception of being apart from dear friends and family, in general, I don't miss the United States. I do miss certain foods, the ease of getting around, of being able to buy what I need when I want it and most of all the beautiful blue skies. I've come to appreciate these things while I'm visiting the U.S., but now see them as a special treat rather than something I can't live without. Conversely, when I'm traveling outside Egypt, I miss being surrounded by people of many colors and the joy of seeing unexpected sights unheard of in the West, like a pickup truck filled with camels or a man in a gallabaya riding a bicycle with a small child balanced on the handlebars. What is the greatest misconception we in the West have about Egypt and the Middle East? I think that we suffer from the illusion that we're intellectually superior and have all the "correct" answers. Perhaps because we are geographically isolated from most of the world, we've gone within and have not reached out to understand and value cultures that are different from ours. Is it expensive to live in Egypt? Imported products cost about the same or more than they do in the West. With the exception of housing and cars, everything else is far less expensive. Is everyone poor? While there are very wealthy Egyptians and a large middle class, by Western standards, the majority of Egypt's population lives at our poverty level or far below. Is everyone Muslim? The majority of Egyptians are Muslim. About 10% are Coptic Christians. What are the people like? In general, Egyptians share a delightful Gaelic-like wit and an understanding of human behavior that far exceeds ours. They're incredibly clever, resourceful and expressive of their feelings without the need for shame. Are there modern conveniences there? Yes, on the outside, but very little works properly behind the scenes. When you travel from the West back to Egypt, what do you bring with you? Since I've been here, more and more Western products have become available. I spend a lot of time in bookstores and at Costco where I load up on dried cranberries, pecans, Karo syrup, unusual spices, and vanilla. Since the selection and quality is better in the U.S., I also buy most of my clothing and shoes there and of course I buy videos and books. That said, more and more Western products are available. Are you allowed to read what you want to? Yes, but everything I want to read isn't available. Do you speak Arabic? Yes, but not as well as I would like to. I've learned enough to get by, but I need to work harder at it. When I don't know a word or phrase, I've become quite adept at pantomiming. Do people speak English? An amazing number of Egyptians speak English on some level and most know how to count in English. What kinds of food do you eat? Are there any special precautions you take when preparing local food? I eat a lot of cheese, vegetables, fruit, and bread. Imported cheese is readily available and the baladi (local) fruits and vegetables are lovely. I really enjoy shopping in the souk (street market) where I can rub shoulders with "average" Egyptians. I can buy Egyptian beef (which is usually water buffalo) and chicken breasts, which are tiny because they don't contain hormones. In Cairo, it's difficult to find fresh ocean fish. Since human waste is sometimes used as fertilizer, I soak everything in a bath of water and vinegar. I wash eggs and oranges with soap and water. I cook with and drink only bottled water. Are there restaurants? There are many lovely hotel restaurants that offer gorgeous Western meals, but I prefer to eat in local establishments that serve fresh fish and a variety of Middle Eastern mesas (local salads made from eggplant, beans, tomatoes, potatoes, and yogurt). The food is a combination of Egyptian, Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cuisine that relies heavily upon rice, beans, eggs, bread, and fresh vegetables. Meat and chicken are expensive so not all Egyptians can afford to buy it very often. How do Middle Easterners treat their children? The family is the backbone of the Egyptian/Middle Eastern culture. In general, children are adored, valued and coddled by the whole family and community, even more than in the West. Do all women cover their heads and bodies? Many Muslim women wear a higab (a large scarf fastened at the neck) or garb themselves in a piece of fabric that also covers their breasts. Skirts and dresses are long. Pants are usually worn with a top that is not tucked in. Are there many foreigners living in Egypt? Yes, from just about every country in the world. Do they like Egypt? Yes and no. Generally, to adapt to Egypt and the Egyptian culture, an expatriate needs to have a sense of humor and the ability to find delight in our differences by educating themselves. If you try to project or transport your values and culture here, you won't be happy. Has your perception of the United States changed after living in Egypt? Definitely my perception of our government has changed. I used to believe that everything we did throughout the world was based upon the Abrahamic code, the root of Islam, Christianity and Judaism: "Do unto others as you would have them do onto you." Now I think it's more about oil. Since living overseas and becoming an expat, my perspective and interest in international affairs/events and geography has broadened to embrace a more global view of the world than I ever had before. What parts of our culture clash with Islam? I think it's more of a perception than a clash from each side. Many Muslims do not understand that our society is as God-oriented as theirs and that Westerners are not as "loose" or as violent as our media portrays us. Conversely, many in the West perceive Middle Easterners as stupid, backward and violent. The opposite is true. We’re all human beings with a desire to live in peace, to be respected for our beliefs and our cultural values. I have only admiration and respect for the people of Egypt. What questions do Egyptians ask you about America and the American people? "Do you believe in God? Do you pray? Are you rich? How old are you? Are you married? Why don't the American people stop the United States government from invading other countries and trying to tell everyone else what to do? Do you like Bush? Why is America so arrogant?" You were visiting the United States for the first time since moving to Egypt when 9/11 occurred. What was your reaction? When you returned home to Egypt, were you treated differently? I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, then shame that expatriate Middle Easterners and Muslim Americans were subjected to such horrible reprisals and discrimination. I prayed that 9/11 would provide an opportunity to create a dialogue so that Americans could begin to understand why it happened and how those in the rest of the world view our policies - and for us as a people to begin to take responsibility for the actions of our government. My Egyptian and expat friends greeted me with open arms. On a humorous note, when I returned home to Egypt I was on crutches. I had dislocated my knee while visiting my youngest son. When I exited a taxi to shop at the market I frequent, the young employees rushed out of the shop to embrace me. They were horrified that I was hurt. They thought I had been injured in the "war." Do you have good medical care available? I utilize the services of an Egyptian medical group that offers every specialty I need. Most of the physicians are Western trained. In general, because hospitals in Egypt are short on nurses and some are not as hygienic as I would like, I would choose to be evacuated to Europe or the U.S. for any surgical procedure. What do you like most about living in Egypt? The Egyptian people top the list. They're beautiful, funny, kind, generous, smart, wise, and extremely clever. For those traveling to Egypt, the topography of Egypt offers mountains, deserts, oceans, and gorgeous beaches. It rarely rains and the temperature seldom falls below 50°F, even in the winter. I've definitely become allergic to cold weather and snow! Jeanne M. Eck will continue to respond to her readers' questions, share her journal entries and the latest I Am Happier to Know You news. If you’d like to be on her mailing list, provide your comments or review of I Am Happier to Know You , or ask a question, CLICK HERE